“Upside downy” and his pal, “Damp Steve” came into our possession after a work colleague put them up for adoption because they were moving house. I say put up for adoption it was more a case of unwanted pets facing being flushed if nobody took them.
Needless to say, to save the poor mites from taking a ride down the porcelain bowl; me and the chap with glasses decided to take them home. Also thanks to Disney films, I believe that all animals can understand what’s going on around them. It was a pretty sweet deal, we got the bowl, filter, pebbles, fish food and of course the fish themselves as part of the deal. Oh yes and we were warned before we took them that one of the goldfish had a ‘cute defect’. That he swam upside down.
It didn’t honestly seem to bother him that much, in fact he seemed quite happy with his view of the world. And being under the impression that it was a common fish problem, (constipation or inflamed swim bladder) we happily took Upside downy and Damp Steve home with us.
We decided that the bowl would sit on one of our little side tables in the living room so the fish could look out the window and be out the way from an accidental knock. I had images of myself trying to collect the springy orange things now flapping on the damp floor into a pint glass. After carefully de-bagging the terrified little fish from their sandwich bags of water (and sprinkling a few flakes of fish food as a good will gesture) we left them to become more acquainted with their new home. Upside-downy swam around frantically for 5 minutes staring at the bottom of the tank, bumping into the other fish and wedging himself in the pebbles. We turned the lights off and gave them some peace. An hour or so later we came back to the tank to check how things were going. Upside-downy had rested himself at the bottom of the tank head and back resting on the pebbles but still very mobile. However, Damp Steve had disappeared. To our horror, the poor thing had got his lovely fan tail caught in a crack in filter and had been frantically trying to free himself for the past hour.
What followed was a rather traumatic rescue attempt by myself and the chap with glasses to free the tangled tail. After 3 minutes of being elbows deep in the fish bowl we finally freed him. However, Damp Steve was not left unscathed; part of his tail had torn on the sharp corner of the filter. He bobbed away from the filter looking rather disheartened and (more likely) in shock. Shock could kill a fish. Christ he could be dead by morning and we’d had them less than a day! So fish owning had not started out well.
After the tail trapping incident the old filter was quickly unplugged, taken out the tank and punted into the bin. We decided to take a trip to a aquatics shop in Manchester that would supply all our fish related items. After demanding a pet terrapin (apparently they grow to the size of cereal bowl and get lonely so you have to buy two) or another fish, I was persuaded to buy only what I had gone in for and we left with a shiny new filter and fish laxative.
Once home, the ridiculously extensive fish laxative instructions were read and we gave what was instructed to the fish. Upside downy was starting to look rather bloated (also still upside down) so we hoped it would work quickly.
Two weeks later Upside downy no resides himself to the bottom of the bowl. He no longer swims at all and can barely lift himself up. It was very heartbreaking. I didn’t have the heart to kill him but feared he was not long for this world. As he could no longer reach the surface of the water to eat. We gently fed him flakes of fish food with tweezers by holding it near his face. Like the soppy gits we are. Finally last Thursday night I ventured into the living room to check on them and the poor thing had died.
We buried him in the garden under a tree and hoped he was in a better place, and subsequently that a fox didn’t get him.
R.I.P Upside-downy. Your little body could not poo and it killed you.
Bad times
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