Anti cupcake

Anti-Cupcake
I am going to say something that I know will shock, upset and anger some you (bakers) out there.
I don’t like cupcakes.
There I said it.
I know it’s the metaphorical baking phrase for kicking a puppy, but I just don’t.
In September I visited the “Cake bake show” in Covent garden. To experience as many culinary delights as possible and see the tiny baking wonder that is Mary Berry. Sadly, what we found was a saturation of cupcake related items, all very similar and engulfing every other sort of baking. I was disappointed to say the least, baking has endless possibilities, and so many savoury options as well! (My personal favourite at the moment is baked Scotch eggs.) I have my own personal reasons of dislike of course, I am not just slinging hatred at these hand sized cakes for nothing.
1. Every and I mean EVERY cupcake I have ever eaten has been dry
2. This is then compensated for by the Everest of icing that proceeds to choke you as you eat it.
3. I don’t really like butter cream 4. Most are over priced
5. And for the clumsy amongst us, it’s just messy to eat.
I tried to make amends with the cupcake. I made a batch not long ago, for a work colleague as a leaving present.
For the unsure amongst you, there meant to be the cookie monster from Sesame Street.
I followed the recipe to the letter; making the sponge and butter cream with as much care as possible. Leaving them to rest over night and keeping them covered and safe. The next day I sat down at my desk with my little googled eyed friend ready to take a bite and take back everything bad I thought of these guys. Sinking my teeth into the buttery sponge, I realised I still didn’t like cupcakes. There was nothing wrong with the flavour, it was just me. I thought of all the glorious wedges of cake I have eaten before and this in terms of baking just didn’t compare.
Cookie monster stared at me...one eyed now.
I turned him away and wished he was a Scotch egg.
If anyone disagrees with my views of cupcakes, and can suggest anywhere that does exceptional one’s I will be happy to try them.
And if you’re really unhappy with my thoughts, please feel free to post me one directly so I can change my mind!